23 Dec Found My Creative Spark After 14 Years
There was a long period where I lost my creative spark and stopped doing any kind of art, hoping that happiness and fulfillment awaited me elsewhere. I tried to explain it away, ignore it, or override it, but the creative need inside kept boiling and accumulating until I finally came back to drawing. But this time no complicated plans, just drawing and figuring it out as I go.
The Struggle of the Creative Rut
While I did illustrate several projects during those fourteen years, it was always for someone else, following their visions and meeting their requirements. I am grateful for those artistic opportunities, but I felt a constant, underlying need to draw for myself. Unfortunately, certain life events left me stuck in a deep creative rut. No matter what I tried to find my way out, nothing seemed to work long-term. I’m still not 100% sure what finally shifted, but the spark I thought I’d lost forever has finally returned.
The cycle of ignoring my passion ended two years ago, but the real opportunity to start drawing again appeared in November last year. It arrived with a slight shimmer of intuition and a fast decision to act. No complicated preparation, research, or big plans, I simply took my sketchbook and a pencil and started drawing.
Found My Creative Spark Through Simplicity
At first, it was slow. Everything I drew seemed unfamiliar and “wrong.” But I had dreamed about making art for so long that I knew I had to give it more time. Considering my skills are rusty and my time is limited (I am a mother to a toddler), I had to find the simplest possible way to make that dream happen.
In the past, I set myself up for failure by aiming for massive goals with many overly complex tasks. For example, I tried to create high-quality, intricate illustrations at a rapid pace while simultaneously trying to post on social media twice a week. But trying to do too much, too fast, is a one-way ticket to a creative rut. I know from experience that anxiety and burnout are guaranteed. Many times I didn’t get further than the first post, and a few times not even that.
This time, I knew simplicity was the ONLY way forward. I started with a simple topic that interested me and committed to drawing it every other day. There were no expectations or big plans, just drawing for myself to revive my old skills. With every tiny sketch I finished, my optimism grew and the small idea began to gain momentum. Soon, I was fully merged into the creative flow. Since then, those small drawings have grown into an inspiring new idea: creating my own hand-drawn coloring books.
My First Coloring Book - Personal Joy, but a Professional Flop
I’ve been working on my first coloring book for the past six months. It isn’t a glamorous project in the traditional artistic sense, but that’s not the point. What matters most is that I am finally working on a projects of my own, and I’ve found so much happiness in doing something I enjoy. I don’t necessarily see coloring books as the end goal of my artistic journey, instead it is a personal challenge, a time for learning, and a potential way to create an income that supports my long-term dreams as an artist.
However, even with that sense of purpose, finishing the project was harder than I imagined.
And after many months of work, I finished my first coloring book. But things didn’t go as hoped. The process was far from smooth, filled with everything from technical hurdles to emotional strains, and ultimately, the realization that the project was a flop. What exactly happened and how I am moving on with my dreams can be read here: My First KDP Coloring Book (Part 1) – From Idea to Product
I end this post with a paragraph form a book “The Creative Act: Way of Being” by Rick Rubin
“Oskar Wilde said that some things are too important to be taken seriously. Art is one of those things. Setting the bar low, especially to get started, frees you to play, explore, and test without attachment to results.”
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